Do you ever feel that no matter what you buy, no matter how much you think you want it, it never quite makes you happy – at least not in the long term?
Sure, there’s a fab little buzz when the old credit card goes ‘beep’ and the preoccupied sales assistant hands you your latest purchase in cute little bag. This feeling of ‘YAY-phoria’ might even last until you get home, unpack it and carefully put it away until it’s time to wear/play with/or generally use it. But how much have you potentially put yourself in ‘hock’ to buy it and does a brief moment of excitement compensate for the feeling of doom when that credit card bill comes in?
To be fair though, it’s absolutely bloody fabulous if it’s something you really want, for you, yeah you, just you! Perhaps something you’ve worked your butt off for and waited ages to be able to afford – and, if that feeling is lasting longer than when you fold up the bag and stick it in the dodgy bag dispenser under your sink, chances are you’ve bought it for all the right reasons. But, going back to the original point – why do we often buy stuff we think will make us happy, only to establish that the buzz is brief and we’re soon looking for something else to give us that ‘fix’?
Well, it all depends on your real reason for buying it to be honest. My mother had a pretty good little ditty that she would frequently quote when I came back with something ‘fancy’ or ‘surplus’ – she’d look at my purchase then turn to me and say,
“Far too many people on this planet buying stuff they don’t need or really want, with money they don’t really have to impress people they don’t even like very much”.
Yup, bit scathing at times my mother – her add on comment wasn’t any less deflating,
“All because we are brainwashed in a society designed to separate idiots from their money”
Cheers mum! :O I used think this was pretty rich coming from someone who could have easily scooped the title of the ‘Queen of Credit’ but, in hindsight, I guess her pretty accurate analogy actually came from a realisation that she too had once been one of those ‘idiots’ who had so easily been persuaded by the ‘marketing and advertising brigade’ to part with her money in the interests of ‘keeping up with the Jones’s.
I like to be a little less blunt but, in fairness, the bare bones of what she said make a fair bit of sense.
From a young age I recall the carefully placed ads for toys, in every cartoon break and just before and just after school time and the influx of strategically timed Christmas ads that, with having 6 kids, would make my poor parents sigh with despair at how on earth they would be able to afford even one small gift for each of us. We are so oblivious as children to this subliminal messaging that if we have that gadget, that toy, that magic popping bubblegum then we will be one of the cool kids, and we slurp up this early conditioning as happily as we would one of those pretty disgusting Slush Puppies. Little wonder that, by teenage (or sometimes much sooner) we’re desperate to have the latest ‘anything’ and that pair of designer trainers. Then, when we get to adulthood it’s the ‘best car’, ‘latest tv’ or ‘biggest house in, of course, the ‘best’ area’. All because we’re told that the more we own the more successful we are – and the more successful we are the more we will impress other people. But guess what?
EVERYBODY IS DOING THE SAME THING AND THEY REALLY DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU’RE DOING!
They’re so focussed on their own so called success because they want to impress you that they’re not remotely interested in how ‘well’ you’re doing – unless of course you’re doing ‘better’ than them. Then they go all out to go one better – and so the cycle continues and the companies peddling this money sucking storyline are quite literally laughing all the way to the bank – and, most likely, at you.
Interesting little meme I saw the other day –
“How do you get a load of sheep to spend £1000? Bring out a new iPhone”
Harsh. My mother could have written it.
Pretty factual though. We spend the best part of a grand to buy a product that, as useful as certain elements are, is a fab host to social media and app purchases and all the enticement that brings. Good old Social Media – the ‘bringing people together’ lie, created with the sole intention of keeping us glued to it for as long as possible so we can be enticed by as much crap as possible – social media, where the advertisers are the customers and our attention is the product.
To cut it short
STOP TRYING TO IMPRESS PEOPLE AND START IMPRESSING YOURSELF.
You and your bank account will thank you for it, believe me. Next time you almost have an orgasm when you see that ‘must have or will die’ item, filter that ecstatic feeling through the following sieves:
Do I need it?
Yeah, boring I know but a worthy question if you’re pretty strapped for readies and you’ve already got a dozen of whatever it is – even if it’s not as fabulous as the one that has you panting with desire. There’ll be other worthy contenders that will make you equally as ‘happy’ and chances are they’ll come along when your bank account won’t end up screaming for mercy if you buy them.
Why do I want to buy it?
a) It will make me happier for buying it, short AND long term, and I can afford it = buy it
b) It’s something I’ve wanted for a long time and I deserve a treat = buy it
c) I know that every time I use it I’ll feel all fuzzy inside = buy it
d) Everyone else has one and I’m fed up of not fitting in / people will go ‘WOW’ when they see it / smug Sharon at work has one / it will make me feel better about how ‘successful I am (dig deep and be really honest with yourself on this one) – any of these options = save your money you numpty. Seriously, it’s 99% likely that no one will be impressed and, if they are, do you really want people around you that only accept you if you have the ‘latest’ or ‘best’ stuff?
Having a load of stuff doesn’t really make you successful, not in the real sense of the word. Think about it – if you’re working a job, every day, and spending everything you earn on stuff that only gives you a momentary buzz or you’ve only bought to impress others is that really success? ‘Quote warning’!:
“REAL SUCCESS IS LIVING YOUR LIFE ON YOUR OWN TERMS”
That means doing stuff because you WANT to, not because it’s EXPECTED of you or you think other people will admire you for it. Be your own cheerleader, write your own story. Don’t allow years of conditioning in a ‘one size fits all’ society to control your bank account, your choices and most of all, your long term happiness.
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